Wow, these are beautiful thoughts and questions. “What happens when we are allowed to experience our needs and our desires? When we don’t subject ourselves to compulsory dissociation required by social hierarchies?” Imagining God from behind, holding me, a hand on the shoulder, my ancestors surrounding me, etc have all been such healing revisions for me as well. 🩷🩷
Shaina - thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I had no idea you were feeling so dissociated at church and in relating to God. I love your descriptions of God as a Black woman, not leading but behind - maybe there for you? I also loved your description in your previous post about not "using" language of god to stand in for our desires or manipulate each other. Diving into existence, nature, desire with your whole self too - what a beautiful and alive image. I look forward to reading more.
Aw, thank you for this comment! I had no idea I was dissociating so much either until I found a helpful therapist (although I knew I spent so many days in a distant fog and was always trying to figure that out). I also think the relocation of god--from over and ahead to behind--is really interesting! I think there’s a lot to explore there, I just don’t quite have a way into that essay yet. Thanks so much for your time spent reading and your engagement. It means a lot.
Wow, these are beautiful thoughts and questions. “What happens when we are allowed to experience our needs and our desires? When we don’t subject ourselves to compulsory dissociation required by social hierarchies?” Imagining God from behind, holding me, a hand on the shoulder, my ancestors surrounding me, etc have all been such healing revisions for me as well. 🩷🩷
Thank you!
Shaina - thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I had no idea you were feeling so dissociated at church and in relating to God. I love your descriptions of God as a Black woman, not leading but behind - maybe there for you? I also loved your description in your previous post about not "using" language of god to stand in for our desires or manipulate each other. Diving into existence, nature, desire with your whole self too - what a beautiful and alive image. I look forward to reading more.
Aw, thank you for this comment! I had no idea I was dissociating so much either until I found a helpful therapist (although I knew I spent so many days in a distant fog and was always trying to figure that out). I also think the relocation of god--from over and ahead to behind--is really interesting! I think there’s a lot to explore there, I just don’t quite have a way into that essay yet. Thanks so much for your time spent reading and your engagement. It means a lot.