WOW. I am stunned by the beauty of what you've written. Sorry it took so long for me to get to your blog! Thank you for sharing so deeply from your experiences: "I hate you and you hate me" is such a powerful, visceral way to describe the pain experienced in PDA. And oceans of freedom to be oneself! Thank you, thank you, for your writing.
Oh, thank you so much! This means so much coming from you! The oceans paragraph--I was laying in bed one night in agony over my daughter’s struggle, when it crystallized that the next step was a radical demand drop. I got up and wrote that paragraph. It was a very cathartic moment that found its way, nearly unedited, into this piece
Wow. Just wow. My son is PDA, with externalized expressions but everything you wrote about using Christianity to disassociate? Bullseye. For years I’ve assumed that it was rooted in my cptsd but I’m realizing over the last several years that even my cptsd is rooted in being autistic without dx or support. I wish my parents had listened to god, and wow that yours did. That you first felt self compassion in the presence of your mother’s god brings me such comfort and hope. Thankful I’ve found your writing.
Aw, thank you so much for being here and commenting! I felt a lot of tenderness when I wrote “my mothers god listens to the bodies of her children”--because I know that’s not how a lot of kids growing up in the church experienced their mother’s god. I’m glad it brought you comfort and hope.
And solidarity in raising a PDA kid! We are on a parenting journey so few can understand. It’s always so good to find each other.
Thank you! In writing this piece I kept thinking about something Pete Walker said about trauma healing. He said one sign of healing is being able to find coherence in your own story--like, your life and how you’ve navigated it starts to make sense. Yes, it unlocks *so* much. Whole new ways of knowing and holding yourself.
Thank you for sharing. I’ve learned a lot about PDA thru low demand Amanda and have implemented some of her strategies with my anxious kid. I can imagine how hard relationships can be as we often have expectations & demands of people that we aren’t even aware of!
WOW. I am stunned by the beauty of what you've written. Sorry it took so long for me to get to your blog! Thank you for sharing so deeply from your experiences: "I hate you and you hate me" is such a powerful, visceral way to describe the pain experienced in PDA. And oceans of freedom to be oneself! Thank you, thank you, for your writing.
Oh, thank you so much! This means so much coming from you! The oceans paragraph--I was laying in bed one night in agony over my daughter’s struggle, when it crystallized that the next step was a radical demand drop. I got up and wrote that paragraph. It was a very cathartic moment that found its way, nearly unedited, into this piece
Love that 💜💜💜
Wow. Just wow. My son is PDA, with externalized expressions but everything you wrote about using Christianity to disassociate? Bullseye. For years I’ve assumed that it was rooted in my cptsd but I’m realizing over the last several years that even my cptsd is rooted in being autistic without dx or support. I wish my parents had listened to god, and wow that yours did. That you first felt self compassion in the presence of your mother’s god brings me such comfort and hope. Thankful I’ve found your writing.
Aw, thank you so much for being here and commenting! I felt a lot of tenderness when I wrote “my mothers god listens to the bodies of her children”--because I know that’s not how a lot of kids growing up in the church experienced their mother’s god. I’m glad it brought you comfort and hope.
And solidarity in raising a PDA kid! We are on a parenting journey so few can understand. It’s always so good to find each other.
“The story of my body told coherently for the first time”: I love this phrase! And how experiencing that can unlock things inside a person.
Thank you! In writing this piece I kept thinking about something Pete Walker said about trauma healing. He said one sign of healing is being able to find coherence in your own story--like, your life and how you’ve navigated it starts to make sense. Yes, it unlocks *so* much. Whole new ways of knowing and holding yourself.
Thank you for sharing. I’ve learned a lot about PDA thru low demand Amanda and have implemented some of her strategies with my anxious kid. I can imagine how hard relationships can be as we often have expectations & demands of people that we aren’t even aware of!
Absolutely love Amanda Diekman’s book! I’m in a PDA for parents group called Journeys with PDA.
Another resource that has been helpful for me to understand myself are Sally Cat’s Internalized PDA blog posts.
Oh wonderful! I just discovered Journeys with PDA last month, and hope to join their Tuesday zoom chat sometime soon.
Next one is tomorrow!